Under my helmet : a football player's lifelong battle with bipolar disorder
(Book)

"An athlete's battle with mental illness. Ever since he was a child, Keith O'Neil wanted to play football. Born on the same day that his father, Ed, was cut from the New England Patriots, football was all Keith could think about... aside from his often-crippling anxiety. Offered a scholarship to Northern Arizona University, O'Neil jumped at the chance to prove himself. Though it wasn't a Division I-A school, he brought his all, achieving first-team All-Big Sky selection as a junior and senior, and earning an All-American nod. An offer followed from the Dallas Cowboys for Keith to attend rookie mini-camp, but while learning the playbook he was plagued by profound insomnia and anxiety. Even so, he made the team as an undrafted free agent. His dream had come true. Sleepless nights, unending anxiety, and eventually suicidal thoughts clouded Keith's mind. He considered quitting the NFL multiple times, even turning in his playbook to his coach, legendary Bill Parcells, who refused to accept it. Later, Keith's two years with the Indianapolis Colts, which included a Super Bowl championship, were also marked by bouts of anxiety -- but nothing would compare to what he faced after retiring from the game. His descent into depression and madness, the strain his behavior placed on his marriage and family, his new job, an epic spending spree, and finally the act that nearly ended it all... it was not until Keith was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder that things began to make sense. He embarked on a new journey, one that he is still on and will always be on. Under My Helmet is the intensely personal story of a man working every day to prove his worth while struggling with a debilitating and, for years, undiagnosed mental illness. Keith's voice is unflinching and compassionate as he shares his battles and the steps he's taken to overcome adversity"--Dust jacket.